Original Posting Date: October 23, 2021, Additions August 2023

As a mama, having some time to focus only on yourself is essential. It can be hard to get, especially if your babies are young! We know how this goes, right? We set the alarm early to creep out of bed and journal, and your sweet toddler’s spidey senses have him arising 5 minutes later. Or you stay up late, bleary eyed and exhausted, smelling like spit up but determined to grab just a few minutes to meditate and your infant decides tonight’s the night for acid reflux and nap trapping.

Girl, I know. It’s hard. It’s ok for this to feel very much not ok.

It gets easier as they get older I promise. As I edit this original post from 2 years ago (original Instagram reel here), my kids are now 8 and 12. For the past 2 years I have worked hard to model for them what it looks like to show up for myself. Not just as their Mom, but as an individual human being worthy or that time and love. They will occasionally come visit me on the front porch or in the basement and ask if they can pull a card, and I welcome that. But generally speaking they understand that above all else, I am Mel. Not Mom, not wife or friend or neighbour or sister or daughter, Mel first. The rest second. And what Mel needs is time to herself every single morning to fill her cup so that she can serve herself before others.

I’ve seen a ton of social media posts about including your child in your morning healthy habits. Sometimes that’s necessary (like when they’re little) and sometimes that’s a choice that you can absolutely make. But for me, that time is to belong to myself. If I’m explaining every step and answering questions then I’m still in Teaching mode, not Learning mode, and that’s not really what I’m after. Unpopular opinion? Maybe. But it’s what works for me, and I am confident that my boys know exactly what I’m up to and why it’s important.

Setting boundaries as a Mom and asking for what you need is hard but it’s also critical, not only for your own mental health but also to show your kids what it looks like to set those kinds of boundaries and advocate for what you need. If we want them to do that for themselves both now and as they grow up they need to see a model of how it looks!

Do you struggle to find time for yourself? How do you make it work? Let me know!